February-May 2024

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The Malawian policeman told me to get out of our truck.

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I looked into his eyes. Was he bluffing? 

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He didn't flinch. He was firm. I exited my vehicle.

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"I will show you how fast you were going, so you can pay us a nice, big fine," he said.

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We walked across the road to three other Malawian policemen, all tall and intimidating, who were standing around something on a tripod. Two of them had AK-47s.

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As I got closer, I saw what appeared to be a pair of binoculars duct-taped to the tripod. A palm-sized screen appeared to be also duct-taped to the backside of the binoculars.

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"Sir, I will show you the speed we recorded for you. You were driving too fast, and must pay us now. Look, here it is."

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I'd read about this tactic that they use on us foreigners in Malawi and other parts of Africa, and knew what they were about to do. I took a deep breath.

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"I'm not looking. You're lying!" I yelled at him. I now had the attention of all four police officers.

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"I've read about your scams, and how you take advantage of us tourists. We all know I wasn't speeding!" None of them said anything. They seemed surprised.

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"What's more," I added, "We're not carrying any cash. I'm not paying anyone."

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I shut up, and swallowed nervously. Would they arrest me now?

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A long silence ensued. They talked for 30 seconds in their own African language.

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"You may go," the tallest officer said. "Go to the ATM in the next town, take out lots of cash, and come back and pay us a nice fine."

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"Goodbye," I said firmly, with no intention of ever returning.

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We drove away.

* * * * *

 

Africa is arguably the most difficult continent to travel. The corruption, diseases, overpopulation, lack of clean food, crime, dangerous animals and insects, and horrible roads spell adventure for anyone willing to travel independently here.

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I'd already spent years of my life traveling by third-world public transport, and knew that getting around Africa by bus would be horribly stressful, and we'd end up missing the most wild places. Additionally, supermarkets are few and far between in much of the continent, and with my significant food allergies, I knew I'd have to carry up to two weeks of food with me at a time. The solution?

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Overlanding.

 

What's Overlanding?

 

It's loosely defined as traveling self-sufficiently through multiple, and often difficult, countries. Meaning: a 4x4 vehicle, with a rooftop tent, cooler, stove, cookware, storage, table, and chairs. It's not quite minimalist, but certainly not luxury. It's total freedom, however - if there's a dirt track, you can get there. And Africa has a lot of dirt tracks.

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* * * * *

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My wife Suhei and I planned this trip to include tons and tons of unguided wildlife encounters, and weren't disappointed. Many parts of Africa require insanely expensive guides to go see wildlife (Tanzania currently charges around $400 USD per person for a day of lion-viewing from a crowded Landrover; Rwanda charges $1500 USD per person for a single hour of gorilla tracking). I'm not a millionaire, and we always try to stretch our budget to get the most out of our hard-earned dollars. Plus, expensive park fees in Africa mostly go to foreign private companies and government corruption - we learned that the whole "It benefits the local community" is a generally a lie to further encourage tourist spending. So, we mapped out all the places we could go see wildlife independently, either for free or on a low budget. We'd be camping nearly every single night, with a stop in a capital city every two weeks or so to restock on food and supplies. And we were off.

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First stop was Mozambique. We'd read horrible reports of police checkpoints, corruption, and wild bribes to get a vehicle into Mozambique, and actually opted to enter by public transport, and take public transport within the country. As predicted, even our bus drivers had to pay bribes at checkpoints! I don't recommend driving here.

 

We spent my 35th birthday on the absolutely stunning beach in Bilene before hitting up sweaty Maputo. From there, we entered South Africa, got our 4x4 rental vehicle from a company named Bushlore, and set off. My parents, who had never left North America, accompanied us for the first four weeks.

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There were the scorpions in Botswana.

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The endless dune fields of Namibia.

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The aggressive baboons in our camp in Zimbabwe.

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The hippo that charged me at night in Zambia.

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We stood above the clouds after illegally summiting the highest point of Malawi without a guide, and then were stopped at no fewer than 70 police/military checkpoints before crossing into Tanzania.

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Every border crossing was quite difficult, but we never paid a single bribe.

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By the time we reached Dar Es Salaam to return the vehicle, we were already looking at maps of Africa to plan our return.

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11,000 kilometers, three months, eight countries. What an adventure!